The Minnesota Candidate Page 10

  “That’s silly. What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, I don’t know… now that you’ve recovered… maybe you see that you can do a lot better than me. I mean, I’m fat and losing my hair and don’t have a job. Should I go on?”

  “Stop it.”

  “And my mom acts like a baby and I don’t see what you can possibly see in me.”

  Shari swung the BMW to the curb and slammed on the brakes. She jammed the gearshift into park and turned on Tom. “Okay, do you really want to know what’s going on?”

  “Yeah, I really do.”

  “Fine, I’ll tell you. Do you remember me telling you about Rick Wellman? He talked me into sinking all of our money into this new company. It was supposed to be a sure thing. Well, I can’t get in touch with Rick… I’m pretty sure we lost everything when the market crashed. We’re ruined, Tom. I sunk every dime of our savings into your mother’s house.”

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.”

  “But wait, there’s more,” said Shari, sounding like a television pitchman. “I was let go by the paper, this morning. They had an emergency meeting and cut the staff by two thirds. They’re going under. We’re going to have to sell the lake place. We’ll never be able to afford the taxes.”

  Tom reached out and grabbed Shari by the hands. “We’ll be okay. We still have each other. I love you, baby.”

  Shari’s face fell and she began to weep. “I love you, too,” she moaned. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

  “This too shall pass, honey. We’re going to be okay.”

  Chapter 11

  The chainsaw was beyond repair. Marie guessed that she had run it into a steel plate. The engine had seized, the bar had bent and the chain had disintegrated, barely missing the two women. Doris and Marie smoked cigarettes as they caught their breath. “Damn it,” growled Doris, “what the hell do we do, now?”

  Marie eyeballed the situation and shrugged her beefy shoulders. She puffed on her cigarette. “There has to be another way in. Have you walked around outside the place?”

  “Oh, that bitch has alarms in every door and window.”

  Marie nodded. “And I suppose there is a keypad for the alarm system?”

  “Of course there is. What the hell are you getting at?”

  Marie hooded her eyes and gave Doris a sly smile. “Maybe we can go in the front door,” she said, checking her watch. “I have a plan.”

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking that everyone I know with an alarm system keeps the alarm code written down. We need to get back in there and find that code.”

  Doris grinned. “I never thought of that.”

  Marie nodded her head and crushed her smoke against the wall. “I only wish I had thought of it, earlier. Come on, girlfriend, let’s get snooping.”

  They left the broken chainsaw where it was, along with the extension cords and the work light and cigarette butts. Marie led the way, charging up the tunnel like a bull down a narrow alley. Back inside the house, Doris closed the bookcase. “Just be sure to put everything back where you found it,” she said. “I don’t want my Tommy to know.”

  “Hey sister, this ain’t my first rodeo.”

  “I know, I know.”

  Marie pointed at the massive bookcases. “Why don’t you start by leafing through those books? I’m pretty sure she would keep the codes in there. I know that I would. I’m going to start in the master bedroom.”

  “I don’t care. Just be careful.”

  “I’m not an idiot, Doris. I’ve done this a thousand times and I’ve never been caught.”

  Doris started on the middle shelves and she began popping open books. Some were very old and the bindings cracked and pages fell out, but Doris stuffed them back into place and she continued searching. Every now and again, Marie would emerge from Tom and Shari’s room with something of interest, but mostly with Shari’s underwear and lingerie. “I remember being this skinny,” she said, which Doris knew was a lie. “I wonder what Clyde Bauer would do if I showed up at his door wearing this?”

  “He’d probably run.”

  “That’s not funny, Doris.”

  Half an hour later, Marie screamed with joy at her discovery of a ring of keys. Several of the keys appeared to be very old and both women were certain that they were for the big house. Reenergized, they continued searching, but by noon they were both tired and hungry. They ate leftover chicken and decided to catch a quick nap. Nearly two hours later, Marie was shaking Doris by the shoulder. “I think I found it!” she shouted.

  Doris, still groggy, had experienced several nightmares with Marie standing over her. She gasped, but she quickly caught herself. “You found the codes?”

  Marie nodded and jingled the keys in the air. In her other hand was a small leather book. “I found this stuffed under the mattress. The codes are written down in here, in her diary. When you have some time, you’ve got some reading material.”

  Doris practically leapt out of bed. She followed Marie and the two women stampeded out of the house. Halfway across the lawn, they stopped to catch their breath. Doris offered Marie a cigarette and they both smoked. And that’s what saved them from being caught in the act.

  Shari’s car suddenly appeared in the driveway, followed closely by Tom’s SUV. Shari sped by the women without giving them a second glance, but Tom stopped and got out of the black Mercedes. “Aunt Marie,” he said, “this is an unexpected pleasure.”

  Marie had already stuffed the diary and the keys in her pockets. “Fat Tommy,” she said, “have you been putting on weight?”

  “Can’t you ever say anything nice to people?” asked Doris.

  Marie laughed at that. “Oh, like you should talk.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Tom shook his head and climbed back into the SUV. He drove away and left the two women to their argument. He didn’t have the energy to listen. Tom parked in the garage next to Shari’s car and closed the overhead door. He was thankful that his mom had company. Tom didn’t want to explain anything to his mom, not yet, not ever. Somehow, Tom was sure that she would try to top him, or worse, she would spin it around and make it about her. He walked into the house.

  “That was close,” whispered Doris.

  “You got that right, sister. What do we do now?”

  “Damn it, I was really hoping to get in there. You’re going to have to spend the night. We’ll have to wait until morning.”

  “I dunno,” said Marie. “What if they find out that the diary and keys are missing?”

  “Are you kidding me? They’re newlyweds, for crying out loud. I’ll bet they’re in bed, already.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. Didn’t you say that Shifty Sam was staying here? I’ve never told you this, but I think he’s just dreamy. Who knows, maybe I can get lucky?”

  “Are you crazy? The man is a walking disease factory. Hello, he’s only spent most of the past thirty years in prison. I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.”

  Marie shot Doris a grumpy look and then she crossed her flabby arms. “What the heck are we supposed to do?”

  Doris lifted her chin into the air. “It has to be after five O’clock somewhere, right?”

  Marie smacked her lips together. “Now you’re talking. Lead me to the bar.”

  Doris had been right about one thing; Tom and Shari were up in their bed. Shari had her head buried into the pillows and Tom sat next to her and stroked her back as she wept. She had finally gotten through to the brokerage and they had told her that Rick Wellman had committed suicide. They also confirmed her worst fears. Shari’s entire portfolio consisted of twenty thousand shares of Burghoffer Biotech. At the time of the call, the shares were said to be worth a penny apiece.

  Tom did his best to console his new wife, but Shari continued to sob into her pillows. He reasoned that the property was easily worth well into seven figures, and that they still had their health. Th
ings could be a lot worse. He would take the first job that came along. They could sell their cars. They could move in with his mother.

  Shari turned on him as if she had been electrocuted. “We are not moving in with your mother!” she cried, pushing his hands away from her. “Have you lost your mind?”

  “It was only a suggestion. She does have plenty of room.”

  “I’d rather share Sam’s bridge!”

  “Well, he seems to like it,” said Tom. Sam had told Tom on the way to work that he couldn’t stay with them any longer. He said that he enjoyed his freedom, but Tom suspected that it had something to do with his mother.

  “Tom, you don’t get it. We’re ruined. Please, stop making jokes about it.”

  “We’re not ruined, Shari. I don’t care about the money. I don’t care about the cars. And I certainly don’t give a rip about the status. I love you. Don’t you see? We’re rich in a way that can never be taken away from us. That’s all that matters.”

  Shari wiped the tears from her eyes and put her hands on his shoulders. “Oh Tom, do you really mean that?”

  “You know that I do.”

  Shari pulled him close and the two of them fell down onto the bed. They didn’t get out of bed until three hours later. Shari wanted to catch the national news and Tom’s stomach was grumbling. They walked down the stairs and saw Doris and Marie sitting on the patio. Three wine bottles sat on the table between them and both women were smoking. “I’ve met that woman before,” said Shari. “Who is she?”

  “That’s my Aunt Marie. She’s my dad’s sister.”

  “I can see the family resemblance.”

  “Dear God, please don’t say that.”

  Shari laughed at that and Tom saw it as a good sign. She walked into the living room and Tom went into the kitchen. He fixed a plate of tuna fish sandwiches and took it into the living room. Shari already had the television on. She looked at the food and shook her head. “Bring me a bottle of wine and a glass,” she said, “please.”

  Tom returned to the kitchen and he grabbed a bottle of Pinot from the refrigerator. He then grabbed two glasses and uncorked the bottle. He didn’t want to let his wife drink alone, not on a day like this. He returned to the living room and poured them both a glass of the straw-colored liquid. He sat down next to her and ate sandwiches as the news anchor detailed the day’s events on Wall Street.

  “Market trading was suspended at two O’clock this afternoon, after an unprecedented collapse on Wall Street. The Dow dropped a staggering thirteen thousand points today, assuring its place in the record books as the worst in history. Brokers leapt from their office towers as stocks continued their freefall. President Peabody, speaking from the island of Saint Lucia, called this a bump in the road and asks Americans to continue on with their daily lives.”

  Shari drained her glass and quickly refilled it. “I think I’m going to puke,” she said. “Why is he in still in the Caribbean and not flying back home?”

  Tom was chewing his food and all he could do was shrug his shoulders. He had voted for the other guy. He watched as Shari emptied another glass of wine. The news only continued to get worse. There were already several reported cases of shortages as the price of diesel quadrupled in six hours. The big rigs were pulling off the road in protest. Banks had closed and workers had been laid off in droves. Hospitals were filled to capacity with heart attack and stroke victims. Tom was no economist, but he knew that what had happened was much more than a bump in the road.

  Every channel seemed to be running a special program on the collapse. Shari channel surfed with Tom sat by her side, not wanting to watch, but unable to look away. The facts were mixed with speculation, most of it negative. The Republicans blamed the crisis on the Democrats, so naturally, the Left blamed the Right. Ultimately, no one accepted responsibility.

  Shari went back to bed at just after 8:00. Tom had been about to follow her, but his mother had caught him as he climbed the stairs. “Marie thinks you’re angry with her. I told her that was silly, but what is she supposed to think? You’ve been ignoring us all night. Could you at least join us outside for a glass of wine?”

  Tom wasn’t tired, far from it, but he could think of a thousand other things he would rather do than go outside and listen to these women gossip. “I kind of have a headache,” he said, rubbing his temples.

  “Welcome to my world. Tough it out, Tommy, this is your father’s sister.”

  Begrudgingly, Tom descended the stairs. His mom waited for him, grinning, swaying on her feet as if she were standing on a lobster boat. She gave him a hug. “I’ll have one glass of wine, Ma. I really don’t feel good. We’ve had a rough day.”

  “You’ve had a rough day? Wait until you’re my age. Wait until you have only rough days and rougher days and see how much you like that. You don’t know nothin’; oh, but you will. Have you been gaining weight?”

  Tom pretended not to hear the question and he refilled his wine glass. They walked out onto the patio. Marie smiled, drunkenly, and began nodding her head. “So,” she said, “the big shot has decided to grace us with his presence. We’re so flattered, aren’t we, Doris?”

  Doris was lighting a cigarette and she raised her glass into the air. “Cheers,” she said.

  The night air was warm and perfectly still. A perfect night to be out on the water, thought Tom, except the bay was eerily empty. The only sounds came from the crickets and the bullfrogs. Marie patted the chair next to her. “Come and sit down,” she said. “I’m not going to bite you. How long has it been?”

  Tom sat down and forced a smile onto his face. These women didn’t like each other, but their worlds were small and growing smaller every day. They put up with each other because no one else would. “How have you been, Marie?” he asked.

  “I’d complain, but who would listen?”

  “You’ve been complaining all day,” said Doris. “You don’t give a person much choice.”

  “Oh, I complain? That’s real funny coming from you.”

  Tom sighed and changed the topic of conversation. “Have you two been watching the news? The stock market crashed.”

  “Yeah, we heard about it,” said Doris. “What, do you think we’ve been living under a rock? They interrupted our programs with that bullshit all afternoon.”

  “They sure did,” said Marie, “them assholes.”

  “Well, it’s kind of big news,” continued Tom. “Something like this has never happened before.”

  “Well, we feel real sorry for the bankers, don’t we, Marie?”

  “We sure do,” she said, sipping wine from a lipstick smeared glass. “Ah, who am I kidding? Those butt-wipes deserved everything they got. I’m happy they lost all of their precious money. Now they can see how the rest of us live.”

  “You can bet Jay P Rockefeller didn’t lose his money,” said Doris. “Those guys never lose money. The stock market is nothing but a rigged game. I hope you and Shari weren’t playing it.”

  “Why don’t you live in that great big house?” asked Marie. “Your mom tells me that you’ve never been in there. What’s the story, Fat Tommy?”

  Doris wagged her finger at her sister in-law. “Shari doesn’t like it when we call him that.”

  “Well, she can kiss my big fat butt. Besides, she ain’t out here. I want to know why she doesn’t let anyone in that big house. That’s pretty weird, if you ask me.”

  For most of the afternoon, and as much as he hated to admit it, Tom had been thinking the same thing. What was inside the big house? Why was Shari so ready to sell their vehicles and her jewelry, but never made mention of anything inside her parent’s house? He had been tempted to bring it up, but he had been waiting for her to broach the subject. “Shari’s parents lived there,” he said. “She’s very sentimental about it.”

  “Oh bullshit,” grunted Marie. “You’re her husband and she’s keeping a secret from you. Ain’t that right, Doris?”

  “That’s the way I see it.”
<
br />   “And what kind of man let’s his new wife keep secrets from him? Your old man never would have stood for that kind of crap, would he, Doris?”

  “Not for a minute.”

  “So, what kind of man are you? No offense, but from where I’m sitting you look like a schmuck.”

  “My boy… the village idiot.”

  Tom sipped his wine and felt the tips of his ears burning. “I’m glad you both have such high opinions of me. Don’t forget, whatever is inside that house is half mine. Go ahead and call me a schmuck and an idiot, I don’t care what you think of me.”

  Marie belched and she covered her mouth and giggled. “We meant that in a good way, didn’t we, Doris?”

  “Oh yes, we certainly did. We just think it’s time for you to show that woman who wears the pants in this family.”

  “You got that right, sister. Your mom and I only want what’s best for you.”

  Tom stared down at the table and knew he was fighting a battle that he would never win. Looking back, he had been fighting this same battle with these women since his father had died. He finished his wine and stood up from the table. “I have to get up early,” he said. “Goodnight… ladies.”

  “Oh Tommy,” said his mom. “Please don’t go to bed angry. I’m sorry if we upset you.”

  “He’s still got that thin skin,” said Marie. “Just like his father. Goodnight Tommy. Just think about what we said, okay? It ain’t too late for you to grow a pair.”

  The women laughed at that and Tom left them cackling out on the patio.

  The following morning, Shari complained of a headache and said she would meet Tom out at the construction site. After showering, Tom cleaned up the mess on the patio. His mother and Marie had cooked themselves a frozen pizza while he slept; burning it to a blackened crisp, but not enough to stop them from picking off the toppings. Cigarette butts stood where the sausage and pepperoni had been.